Conan's Share

At his talk show one morning, Conan received word that there was a closed-invite email group going around the office that gives the staff members heads-up whenever there are food deliveries in the cafeteria room. Of course, being a popular talk show, the company receives many complementary foods from shops, such as cakes, candy, and other forms of snacks and treats for the people who work for the show. However, Conan noticed that he was NOT on the list while being the host of the show! This bothered Conan heavily. He had to get to the bottom of this.

He set up a trap for his employees. He convinced his insider in the e-mail group to send an announcement to the rest of the group that there were three delicious chocolate cakes delivered. What the employees did not know was that in each corner of the cafeteria room, security cameras were set up! 

Of course, as soon as the email was sent out, people came in the doors like moths to a light. Not a single face was missing; Amber from Productions was there, Andy from Graphic Design was there, even Sonia, Conan's personal assistant was there. In fact, the only one that was missing was Conan, the star host of the show! Fueled with rage, Conan bursts through the doors.

"Ah-ha! Now lookie what we got here," he slyly announced as he enters the door, "How did you guys know there was chocolate cake here, hm?" The whole room was silent. Andy still had this piece of cake that was halfway in his mouth; seeing the awkwardness of the situation, he was frozen. "Is anyone going to explain what's going on here?!" Conan demanded.

Sonia, who was Conan's assistant on the show, finally stepped out with a half-eaten slice of cake in her hand and replied: "Well.. what does it look like? We're here enjoying good cake!" With that statement, everyone in the room cheered.. well, everyone except Conan, who wasn't amused. Not one bit.

"Interesting. Well, I've been hearing that there have been emails going around to a privileged group of staff that notifies them, before anyone else, about when there are new food deliveries that come to the building," Conan deliberated, "Now my question to all of you guys is simple. As the star of the company that you worked for, I did not see my name on that list. Why is that?"

Andy, infuriated, stepped out. "Well, it just seemed like every time there's something going on, it's always about you. We just wanted something for ourselves for once! Sure you're a fantastic host and boss, so you are willing to share the labors of the great, but never in the spoils!" The room exploded in support of Andy. Conan suddenly became quiet.

"I didn't know this was how you guys felt," he realized, "If that is the case, I've learned my lesson and pledge to move forward with more fairness from here on out!"

Everyone in the crowd cheered. Once again, another problem in the office was averted. Of course, Conan believed he was the one that came up with the solution.

(Conan Delivering a Speech. Source: The NY Times)

Author's Note: This story was a derivative from two narratives, one was from an old fable, The Lion's Share retold by Joseph Jacobs, and the other was from a comedy sketch from a famous talk show host, Conan O'Brien. In the fable, the lion, with the help of his comrade foxes, killed a deer; however, the lion believed that he was entitled to all the spoils of the hunt. In the Conan sketch, he found out that he was aware that there was an exclusive email going around the office alerting his staff of the delicious foods that were delivered to his office. I saw there was a great correlation between the two narratives, and so I combined the two and retold it in a way that shared the theme from the fable using the context of the comedy sketch. Of course, being a comedian, Conan is not as stern or as serious as I have portrayed him to be, but I had the mend it in a way that was cohesive with the theme of the fable. I hope you all enjoyed this collaboration! I linked the link to the YouTube video in this paragraph if you ever find an interest in watching.